vero89

Hi guys!!

How is everyone?? Well, I hope =)

Since I last wrote, I have turned 20!!! Woot woot no longer a teen!! Which I still haven't decided if it's a good or bad thing. Last year I said I didn't feel like I was 19...well this year it's not different, I don't feel my age! I guess I always thought that at 20 I would have this whole life thing figured out. I'd have my career plan and I'd have the cute boyfriend by my side, and I would be partying with my friends every weekend...but it's not. I'm still as insanely insecure and completely lost as I was in high school...not wait I take it back, I wasn't lost in high school. I was just insanely insecure lol Well actually I think maybe I've gained some self confidence... at least I think I'm cute lmfao Which I mean hello have you seen my smile? I'm adorable! *sigh* anyways! As I was saying, wait what was I saying?

Meh so for my birthday, I went miniture golfing with April =) I suck! She beat me lol Then we went to eat at Portillos. It was all stupid drama though, I was originally supposed to hang out with April then go eat with Ana and Patty but Haunted Trails is right by the Portillos we were gonna go to so I was like hey why not just have April come with us. Well apparently all my friends hate each other? *sigh* So whatever I was like screw it and went with April...but then I felt bad for cancelling with Patty and Ana sooo we ended up meeting up for coffee. Fun times were had at Starbucks...I always love hanging out with Ana and Patty, they're awesome. At the same time it's bittersweet. If it weren't for Jacque, my friend who passed away in June, I wouldn't have met them. I wouldn't have met Leticia *she was my best friend through most of high school*. We were trying to figure out how we'd all met and bascially we came to the conclusion that it was because of Jacque. For me, it kinda made me miss her a lot more. I wish she was still around. We're making all these plans for our 21st birthdays and it hurts that she won't be there....I don't know, it's just hard, you know? After sitting around talking at Starbucks we decided to visit Leticia at work lol So we bothered her there for a bit....hmm then we went to this place off Cermak and 16th to get nachos...well actually they got nachos I didn't lmfao I was still full from eating earlier. By that time it was almost 9 so we decided to call it night...mostly because Patty had class the next day and Ana had to work and I live an hour away lmfao. An added bonus was that my mom had to drop some stuff off to my former pastor's wife so we had to stop by my old church and my best friend Andy was there =) Best Birthday present ever! Seeing him and talking and just being with him! It was awesome and made my already great day even better. He's so good at encouraging me and making me feel better just by being himself. =) He is the greatest. I have no idea what I would do without him.

Last piece of news is that I guess I'm going back to pretending to be the good little Christian. I felt it was unfair of my new pastor to yell at the youth pastor because I had stopped participating in church. Like I told my mother, my spiritual life is between me and God, not me, God, and the pastor. And last Sunday the pastor's wife was all like Veronica we need to talk and blah blah blah. Sooo what did I do? I pretended to have a good time in church. I sang along with the songs, I said AMEN, I smiled and was pleasant to everyone...and well she never did call me nor did she email me like she said she would. Tomorrow I will be in church, pretending once again. I've decided it's easier to pretend than it is to act like myself.

So that is all.